The Mono is back...and I'm coming home.

This week was a doozy.  And before I get into it, I have to tell you all that Karen is on FIRE! We've taught her 3 times this week and she's about ready to be baptized! She's given up smoking and she's given up coffee.  She's almost ready.  But you'll have to ask me about the story when I get home....

Speaking of which.  Here's the bombshell:  I'm coming home next week.

Now, I'm bawling as I write this, but please know that this is seriously the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

This weekend, my mental, physical and emotional health gave out.  My body is spent.  I've given my mission everything that I've got and my body has just given out on me.  It STINKS!  I'm so angry because I love my mission.  This has been the best thing to ever happen to me.  I don't want to go home.  My heart belongs here in California.  I'm so broken hearted.

So to continue, I couldn't handle it on Saturday.  I called President Wilson and told him that I was so overwhelmed and that I needed permission to call home and ask my mother for advice.  And as we talked he told me that we had done everything for me that we could to keep me healthy and strong on my mission and I told him that nothing was working anymore and that I just kept getting worse and worse.  And on top of that, my mono has returned.  NOT COOL MAN! NOT COOL!

So President counseled me to fast and to pray and ask the Lord what I should do and whether or not I should return home or stay on my mission.  Well, as I talked to my mother I got her counsel and she practically said the same thing.  So this weekend, I fasted and prayed about my decision and I was at first begging the Lord to keep me out on my mission and to make me healthy again.  I want to finish.  I can't handle it.  I love my mission.  This has been the greatest experience of my life.

And as I've prayed, I've decided that I wanted to accept the Lord's will whatever it is.  And as I've prayed and fasted, I've had to bite the bullet.  The Lord wants me home.  I've dreaded that answer all weekend.  And I can tell you all more about it when I get home..... 

But there was a quote that I saw after I received the quiet reassurance from the Lord that everything would be okay and it said: "The Lord knows us but he sends us trials so that we can find out who we really are."

I know that I have given my mission my all.  I know that I've done my best.  And I know the Lord's plan is better than any plan I could come up with.

I love you all so much and I will email you next week.  My email at home is hannah.flight@yahoo.com and my facebook is Hannah Weaver.

There's no words for how I feel about all of you.  And I know this comes as a shock to everyone; believe me it was for me, too.  But my heart will always be here and you'll never EVER get rid of me.  I'll be back.  And I'll come trailing with my clouds of RM glory.

I love you.

Love, Sister Hannah Weaver

Sometimes He Lets It Rain

Hey everyone!
I'm halfway through my mono (hopefully) and this has been a crazy month and a half.  Ever since I stepped off of that plane and into my mother's open arms, I've been an emotional wreck.  This has been one of the hardest trials I have ever faced.  For a long time, I asked myself, "Why me??  I was ready to go!!"  It was so hard for me to be so excited to go and so excited to finally get my life going.  I was so excited to serve the people of Bakersfield, CA, and more importantly to serve my Beloved Heavenly Father.  I was so frustrated that I was "one of those people" that came home wayyyyyyy too early.  Am I planning on going back out?? ABSOLUTELY! I have watched so many of my friends and peers leave to serve their missions.  I've been so jealous because I was supposed to be out in the mission field by now!!! I would've been out for almost two months!  Why did the Lord want me to come home of all things???

Well.... today I received my answer.  But first, let me tell you a little bit of background.  So when I got off of the plane I was so sick.  My temperature was very high (It was about 100 degrees fahrenheit), my tonsils were so big that I looked like I had just had my wisdom teeth removed, and I was so weak and tired.  I promise I'm not over emphasizing.  It was horrible.  I couldn't hardly swallow water, let alone any kind of food.  The lymph nodes in my stomach were so swollen that you could feel them and they made me nauseous every time I would eat anything.  Let me tell you, it's been one of the worst experiences ever.  With all that said, I was near tears when I saw my mother again.  I had talked to her on the phone the day before to tell her I was coming home and it was definitely one of the most bittersweet phone calls I've ever had to make.  I was so disappointed in myself for having to come home.  I missed the mission field and I missed my companion, Sister Jacobs.  Well to make a long story short, I've been released from my mission until I get better.  So I'm hopefully headed back out to the mission field at the end of this month or the first of December.

While I've been home, I've had to learn patience.  I've had the chance to talk a lot with my sweet mother and her experience with her trials.  I've been able to accept and love the small things in life that I had previously taken for granted.  I've been able to learn how to crochet (and I'm currently working on a King size blanket) and it's so fun!!  I've been able to think about my purpose as a missionary a lot and I've had the chance to talk and encourage my friends who have just recently gone out on missions.  I've had the chance to help my sweetheart get ready for his mission (and we'll be leaving around the same time this time.... YAY!!!).  I've had opportunities to edit books and to improve my own study skills.  I've had so many opportunities to learn and to grow.  I haven't enjoyed it very much, but I've certainly enjoyed the extra time at home with my sweet family <3

So my purpose in writing this... well... I've discovered my purpose why I came home.  The Lord hasn't given me an answer of why I'm home and I think that was His purpose.  I've had to contemplate and ponder whether or not I should really go back on my mission.  I've had so many moments of self-doubt.  It hasn't been fun.  But the reason I'm home is because the Lord is testing me to see if I'm really committed to His work.  And I am.  I want to be a servant to the Lord for 18 months.  I'm willing to make that sacrifice.  I want this.

A song that I heard today really helped me grasp my purpose... it helped me to realize that the Lord has been mindful of me and that he is not punishing me for anything... he's really helping me to grow.

Some of the lyrics say:
"Sometimes He lets it rain,
He lets the fierce winds blow.
Sometimes it takes a storm to lead a heart where it can grow."

Listen to it for yourselves.  Trials of faith come to those whom the Lord trusts.  I know we all can grow from hard trials.  God has built us to do hard things.  We are His children.  He hasn't sent us here to fail.  Do your best and ask your Heavenly Father for help.  I promise His help will come.  You can do this <3

Love,
Sister Weaver

Sometimes He Lets it Rain video

Sad Day...

Sad day.  Hannah is coming home (which is not really a sad thing), but the reason why is.  She has Mono.  Ugh.  Poor thing.  She had to have been exposed to the virus in the last 7 to 4 weeks and incubated all this time until she (at the MTC) broke out in fever, swollen glands, and horribly huge tonsils, along with nausea, and just generally feeling awful.

We are on our way to pick her up at the airport right now.  Hopefully we can get her healthy and strong and on her way again, back to the MTC.

Welcome home, Hannah!

Love,
Mom <3