This week was a doozy. And before I get into it, I have to tell you all that Karen is on FIRE! We've taught her 3 times this week and she's about ready to be baptized! She's given up smoking and she's given up coffee. She's almost ready. But you'll have to ask me about the story when I get home....
Speaking of which. Here's the bombshell: I'm coming home next week.
Now, I'm bawling as I write this, but please know that this is seriously the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This weekend, my mental, physical and emotional health gave out. My body is spent. I've given my mission everything that I've got and my body has just given out on me. It STINKS! I'm so angry because I love my mission. This has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't want to go home. My heart belongs here in California. I'm so broken hearted.
So to continue, I couldn't handle it on Saturday. I called President Wilson and told him that I was so overwhelmed and that I needed permission to call home and ask my mother for advice. And as we talked he told me that we had done everything for me that we could to keep me healthy and strong on my mission and I told him that nothing was working anymore and that I just kept getting worse and worse. And on top of that, my mono has returned. NOT COOL MAN! NOT COOL!
So President counseled me to fast and to pray and ask the Lord what I should do and whether or not I should return home or stay on my mission. Well, as I talked to my mother I got her counsel and she practically said the same thing. So this weekend, I fasted and prayed about my decision and I was at first begging the Lord to keep me out on my mission and to make me healthy again. I want to finish. I can't handle it. I love my mission. This has been the greatest experience of my life.
And as I've prayed, I've decided that I wanted to accept the Lord's will whatever it is. And as I've prayed and fasted, I've had to bite the bullet. The Lord wants me home. I've dreaded that answer all weekend. And I can tell you all more about it when I get home.....
But there was a quote that I saw after I received the quiet reassurance from the Lord that everything would be okay and it said: "The Lord knows us but he sends us trials so that we can find out who we really are."
I know that I have given my mission my all. I know that I've done my best. And I know the Lord's plan is better than any plan I could come up with.
I love you all so much and I will email you next week. My email at home is firstname.lastname@example.org and my facebook is Hannah Weaver.
There's no words for how I feel about all of you. And I know this comes as a shock to everyone; believe me it was for me, too. But my heart will always be here and you'll never EVER get rid of me. I'll be back. And I'll come trailing with my clouds of RM glory.
I love you.
Love, Sister Hannah Weaver